You are single, lonely and wondering when Partner Right is going to come along and sweep you off to ‘happily ever after.’
To make matters worse, all your friends are getting married, but somehow, you haven’t managed to even get a boyfriend, never mind a date.
Desperate, you join different online dating groups and have campaigned all your friends to introduce you to any available bachelor.
When you are out with your girlfriend, you notice all the attention she gets from men and you feel like a fly on the wall, watching the flirting game as though its an alien language.
Finally you get a date, only to realize that he’s so boring and unsexy, you’d rather by curled up on your couch with your cat, watching your favorite TV series.
Are you destined to be single forever?
Being single isn’t a disease.
In fact, there are many advantages to being single.
First of all, you do not have to compromise yourself for anyone. You are free to live without having to take someone else’s needs and neurosis into consideration.
Secondly, you have much more time to spend on your own hobbies and passions, without having to negotiate your time or space.
And finally, you are not alone.
You actually have an incredible opportunity to have a profound, delicious, sexy, fulfilling relationship… with yourself!
I call this the Primary Relationship.
It is the most important relationship you will ever have in your entire life.
It is the only relationship that lasts a lifetime, all the rest come and go, even if it is death that parts you.
Without a healthy primary relationship, we actually do not have much to offer a relationship with another person.
Which is why being single is such an important part of life.
It is the time where we fill our own gourmet plate and toss our beggar’s bowl into the trash.
What do you think is sexier?
A woman who is needy, looking to be fulfilled by someone?
Or a woman who is content and turned on on her own, open to meeting someone to share the adventure of life with?
Sexy, Single Secrets…
As promised, here are some secrets to making your time as a single woman delicious:
1) Turn yourself on. “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”. Take time to pleasure yourself, daily if possible. The more you keep your juices flowing, the more you glow and the more fulfilled (and attractive) you become.
2) Fill your own heart. Become your own most intimate lover. What makes you tick? What strips you of joy and delight? Being alone is a great time to decipher our own patterns and to intentionally repattern ourselves.
The more we know ourselves, the more we will have to offer in a relationship. Successful relationships rely on the autonomy of both individuals.
Co-dependence is painful and ultimately unsexy. So the better you fulfill your own heart and know honest what is non-negotiable for you, the you stand to offer another person.
3) Enjoy dating! Who said that you couldn’t date more than one person at one time? Dating is fun and keeps us connected to people. It takes us out of being an island and teaches us a lot about being a genuine listen and clear communicator.
4) Take a lover or three. We no longer live in an era where we must succumb to our families wishes and choices of a partner. In fact, we are free to take the lover(s) that we choose.
Think of your lovers as ‘love laboratories’. Practice radical honesty and transparency. Explore your erotic nature and discover your likes and dislikes. Play!
Did I say play?
The biggest mistake we make when we are single is to take the subject of relationship too seriously!
No one wants to be around a serious person 24/7.
5) Discover what relationship means to you. Are you looking to be a mother? A daughter? A lover? What role have you fallen into in the past?
Do you always mother your partner? Or are you looking for daddy to take care of all of your needs? Do you want someone to seduce you and rock your world?
6) Relationship isn’t something we actually need to work at. So many experts tell us to do this or that and we will have better relationships, but the truth is, relationships are the RESULT of two people coming together.
What does this mean?
It means that WHO you are is more important than what you do.
This is why being single is so important.
It is the time when we discover who we really are and relationship is the time to share it.
7) Practice with your friend and family. The truth is, we are always in relationship, with many people. Notice how you respond to others.
Start to pay attention to your relational habits and if they are less than fulfilling, change them!
If being your own best lover and developing your own gourmet plate is something that deliciously inspires you, you may enjoy deepening this experience through reading my book: Click here to get my book, Emergence of the Sensual Woman.