You have wonderful guy friends, but when it comes to sexual attraction, its the bad boy that you want.
But the bad boy doesn’t know what the sweet ones do, and unavoidably, he breaks your heart though treating you like a doormat.
You notice that you are not the only one that pines over the tough guy, almost every woman you know is falling for him.
Desperate to be chosen, you give up your body before you want to and put up with his disrespectful antics.
Frustrated, you cry on your nice guy-friend’s shoulder. He’s always there for you, listening, supporting, and caring for you. But you are not at all attracted to him.
The Bad Boy Syndrome
You know exactly what this is.
We all do.
We all, at one point or another, fall for the “bad” boy.
He makes us feel wild, sexy, and free.
It’s hot, delicious, and enlivening. And we love it!
But he treats us like we don’t mean anything.
Plus he has the emotional intelligence of a toad and could care less if we feel heart-broken because he already has moved on to the next half-crazed female.
All in all, he’s a complete ***hole.
And if he were to smile at us, we’d do it all over again.
A woman’s ‘bad’ boy initiation.
So why do ‘bad’ boys play an important role in the sexual initiation of women?
At first glance, this has to do with simply biological urges and signals. It’s a proven fact that bad boys have a tendency to have more testosterone then the good ones.
High testosterone makes women feel more feminine. It’s simple science.
Their very smell drives us wild with desire.
Once there, we can’t think straight and the rest is history!
Yet there is an important role that these ‘bad’ boys play. They give us a new paradigm for the masculine, outside of the known Father & Brother roles.
They invite us into the erotic world of desire and delight. It is when we discover we are more than just a sweet girl.
We are naturally wild women that have been conditioned to forget this fact.
The ‘bad’ boy is a reminder of who we are, an awakening to our crazy desires and our deep yearning for pleasure.
The gift of bad boys…
The first gift is the initiation into the erotic through the primal activation of our hormones.
Responding to our hormones is, at best, what we can handle when we are teens and young adults.
We literally are insane with reproductive urges that are beyond our logical mind.
Yet there is more to this picture then the dance of our hormones.
Learning from direct experience.
Experiencing an asshole boyfriend or lover, at least once, is a fantastic way to learn about what we don’t want (and what we want too!).
The key here is to only do it once.
But there’s a problem.
These bully’s and their ways imprint us in profound ways and if we do not bring our attention to this, it can set us on a path of seeking men who are ‘bad’ (at relationship) for a very long time!
Thankfully, as much as we can stay stuck or addicted to men who treat us like trash, we also can recover our wits and self-respect.
It is important to honor our ‘bad’ boy experiences with a sense of humor.
In fact, most of these types of men have often kick-started our own erotic wildness, which is something to be grateful for!
Breaking free from the spell of erotic wildness, we have an opportunity to blossom, not just sexually, but emotionally.
As women, we must be initiated into our self-love.
Most often we learn more from hardship then from sweetness, hence the commonality of the asshole syndrome!
By learning to give ourselves the things we did not receive from our unconscious lovers, we literally become more of who we are.
This is really the deeper gift of this life experience.
Good is boring, Bad is fun, or is it?
There is a point in our lives where we start to step out of the polarity of good-bad and entering a realm far more creative.
Here we start to see that every person has both good and bad, boring and fun, etc within them.
As we learn to harmonize our own internal good girl-bad girl, we free up our erotic to be much more wholistic.
In fact, we start to attract a partner who has deep respect and reverence for us while also being wild and playful.
That is the best and most juicy combination. One that we all, men and women alike, must consciously embrace and embody.
Then we no longer have any limitations on our erotic. We no longer bargain our sex to be loved. We no longer compromise our tender parts in order to feed our wildness.
Would you love to embrace your wildness, your erotic along with your heart? My book is a great place to start! Click here to get it now!